Question by jbaby3306: once best friend/now i hate him?
So… I was raised in a abusive home… when i was about 14 i started talking to this guy online. He was my “bf”- really more like a best friend. He helped me get through some tough stuff… my mom being beaten by her husband… and me being beaten by him.
This went on for about 2 years… until he convinced me it was time for me to get out…. I finally got up the courage to go to my school and tell them. (he pushed me a lot and that helped)
eventually i got out of the house and went to live with my grandfather. A few months later we “broke up” got back together “broke up” over and over again.
This really hurt me, but i kinda knew it was coming, and to be honest in a way i was kinda glad to see it end.
When i was around 17 i started dating this guy that i have known since i was about 13 or 14 (we were just friends but lost contact for a long time, and then regained contact when i was 17 and started dating)…. so, me and him date for a long time, eventually (me now 21) got married actualyl aobut 2 months ago.
i have a great relationship and i love my husband more than anything in the world.
However i find i still talk to this other guy occasionally, dont get the wrong idea i have no feelings for this guy at all…but what it really boils down to is that i find myself keeping in contact (talking to him 1x every 1-3 months) mainly because i feel like i owe him something for helping me out of that situation…
So, anywho… the more i talk to him at all now the more i just ******* hate him… everything about him… he used to be like an amazing person, or maybe i just didnt see how much of a douche bag he was reguardless he definately has changed a lot.
he was the nice virgin guy stright arrowed caring etc…
now he lays with anything he can get (which is probably not much anyway) smokes regularly, drinks reg… etc etc i could go on and on but i think you get the point
anywho, it seems like he only talks to me now when he needs/wants somethign…
mainly always asking for money or something related to money anyway…
he always makes little comments like:
“what running low on the hundreds of thousands”
or “i have no sympathy for you, im trying to barrow x amount for x from someone”
like, i know me and my husband are young and more well off then the average but i just find these comments very offensive… (the second one was in reguards to me tlaking about how we just had a car accident and due to our injuries we havent been able to work much)
and then yesterday he tells me he wants to run a business proposal past me and my husband so i say okay since i didnt want to just dismiss him and be a douche.
so… he sends me the business “plan” which consisted of basically a schedule of when the business would be open and a layoutof the building… ooo and some of the peoples “links of articles” that hed be working with that “volunteered” to help him.
his brilliant idea that he asked me to invest 50k into is a haunted house? he then proceeded to tell me how he would pay me back the 50k within 2 weeks of the place being open and a “gift” of 10k additional also within 2 weeks of being opened.
my first response was that it could work but i dont think that it would and thanks for thinking of us but were not interested… but he proceeded to push it so i told him that going into a business with the assumption that your going to make 50k in the first 2 weeks of pure profits is a vasssstttt over estimate. (not includding that his business idea is crap)
then his defense to that was “well we will”
also i forgot to mention if the business went belly up it would basically be “o well” since him and his “business partner” are both unemployed.
obviously i know i was right for turning this “business opportunity” down – honestly sounded more like a scam to me.
but to be honest im more pissed that he ******* asked me in the first place. to ask someone you dont even speak to on a regular basis for 50k?
and also on top of that a couple days ago, he texts me saying hi and “i miss tlaking to you sometimes” like wtf its just really pissed me off since its blantly ******* obvious that he just made the effort to talk to me to try an get me to “invent” in some doomed to fail bs business….
i really want to just ***** him the hell out… am i wrong? what would you do?what should i do?
Best answer:
Answer by sarah hezdx
you dont owe him anytihng. just let him go. if you dont wanna be friends with him anymore just ignore him dont txt him back or anything. he may have helped yu a lot and im so sorry you had to go thru tht but yu still dont owe him anything.
Add your own answer in the comments!
You feel that he saved your life, but he didn’t. He was just one to watch over you and help you find the strength to change your own life, and to that he deserves thanks. However, I don’t think you owe him any sort of financial debt, perhaps an emotional one, like sticking by him in hard times.
It’s hard to see a friend change for the worst, but it sounds like he’s really not the boy you once knew all those years ago, and I’m sorry, but it sounds like the boy who was once your best friend isn’t coming back. You have to learn to accept this, for this is just the way he grew up.
DO NOT DO THE HAUNTED HOUSE INVESTMENT. You will lose all of your money! And he will have NO obligation, legally, to repay you. It’s really a pipe dream, it’s better to give him time to let it go. You don’t owe him money, though at times I’m sure you wish you could help him out.
I think it would be best to put some distance between the two of you, for the benefit of all aspects in your life, or to tell him upfront your feelings about him and his constant requests for money. It really sounds like your friendship changed from being caring and genuine to simply being a potential financial gain for him.
You have to do some thinking, because it seems like you could gain a lot more from letting him go then painfully holding on to him waiting for the old him to come back..
Best of luck!
ps, if you have time, give my question a look..? :]
Comment by sunsett — July 30, 2010 @ 12:51 pm
You don’t owe him anything! Your married and your happy so just send the last email saying you know, thanks for helping me and things but we have to stop chatting, i have a life now. If you send him emails, just stop and block him. He helped you once, now you have a life! Get him out of your life. Also i’m sorry you were raised in an abusive home, that must have been hard ;(
Comment by Lღynn — July 30, 2010 @ 1:10 pm